It's been six months since Grant was born and though it's gotten better, I still feel like most days we live in survival mode. I keep wondering why? I don't know but am guessing it's just everything in our life colliding right now. Plus it's summer, we are on the go most of the time. The days just escape.
Sometimes all I can do is laugh. Tonight was a perfect example...
I called Ethan at work and asked if we could go out for pizza. One, it was too hot to cook and two, we all needed an escape from the house. He was game and I told him we'd get our shoes on and pick him right up. Ha, what was I thinking?
First we must hunt two pairs of shoes down and in the process Grant spits up all over me. So, I head upstairs to change, then grab my purse, throw in a diaper and wipes and head out the door. Oh now Noah needs to go potty (this is good though, finally made a breakthrough with potty training.)Then Emma and Noah wander to the backyard and are now dirty and sweaty. They find their way to the van and I get Grant in his car seat. Just get him buckled and he spits up, no throws up all over himself and the car seat. Take him and the car seat back inside. Now must change his clothes and clean out the car seat.
Finally, we all take off. I am just hoping that Ethan doesn't ask what took so long and thankfully he didn't. This is what always happens though, something that should take 10 minutes turns into 30 minutes!
I sit and look around at the house tonight. A bag is still sitting here from the conference (4th of July) waiting to be unpacked. There are toys everywhere, baskets of clean (at least they're not dirty) laundry that need a home, sippy cups of juice, stray crayons hiding under furniture, graham cracker crumbs in the carpet, and I'll just stop there. It's funny because I think I've finally given up on my quest for a clean house. I have come to terms with the fact that it just isn't worth the fight every day. One room at a time may be clean and that's going to have to be good enough at least for this season of life. I'm just too tired to keep up. Don't get me wrong, it drives me crazy and I feel like a failure most days but the only solution I can come up with is to hire a cleaning lady (which I am seriously considering.)
Ethan and I had a goal of doing monthly date nights this year. Guess how many we've been on? Two!! We have even tried having a couple at home but they don't work very well. It's pathetic when at 9:00 all you both want to do is fall asleep. You try to have conversation and it ends up to be a couple of phrases before you are both goners. It takes serious effort to go out now. Finding a sitter, making sure the kids have something to eat, and then to get yourself looking public worthy...sigh. We are going to try harder though because we know it's important. I made a new friend in town and we are discussing swapping kids each month so we can both have date nights. I'm hoping it will work out.
I really know that I'm heavily in the mom phase of life by my appearance. The time I now spend on myself most mornings is a record for me. It is so funny how things I once said I would never give up, are slipping out of necessity. I used to look at those tired looking mothers and think I will never let myself go like that. Ha, I now know why they looked that way! You throw on some clothes, brush your teeth, and pull that hair into a ponytail before you get further behind. Hurry, hurry the baby is screaming and the other two are fighting each other for the last grape. Oh, do I really need to comb my hair? Forget it, I'll just stick one of Emma's headbands in.
So that's where we're at right now. We all get dressed, eat three meals, and make it to the end of the day. That's a good day at our house. And hey, if the kitchen floor gets swept or the toilet gets cleaned along the way, that's an added bonus. Just being honest so if you can relate then you know you're not the only one :) My attempts to be an organized mom aren't going so great, at least for this season of life. I have hopes that I will improve as my kiddos get older (and more helpful.)
But there are moments that are great and worth the chaos. Grant's laugh is too cute especially when he giggles at his sister and brother. He gives smiles away easily and gets excited when he sees someone he knows. Noah tries so hard to carry in my groceries even when I tell him they're too heavy. "Don't worry Mommy. I got it." Then 2 steps later, "Mommy, can you help me with this heavy one?" Emma...she is 6 going on 16. Keeps us laughing sometimes when we shouldn't be. So much drama and those facial expressions. The girl always has a plan. I call her Noah's playtime coordinator. I don't know what he'll do when she goes back to school.
Other updates, Grant started baby food and still loves his mommy to hold him all day, Noah is potty trained (woo hoo), and Emma is doing tumbling (Ethan thinks she found her sport).
So life is mostly crazy here but a good crazy. We are blessed to have such a full plate. I keep reminding myself of that daily. This is a time when we invest heavily in three little lives and it won't be here forever.
